All Recipes
Every recipe costed, macro'd, and tested by someone who actually eats this stuff.
Fennel and Parmesan Salad
Raw fennel shaved thin, lemon, olive oil, parmesan. Refreshing, crunchy, dead simple.
Green Beans with Almond Butter
Blanched green beans tossed in brown butter with flaked almonds. Simple, French, excellent.
Buttered Cabbage with Bacon
The only way to make cabbage exciting. Butter and bacon make everything better.
Roasted Tenderstem Broccoli
Roasted is 10x better than steamed. The tips go crispy and nutty.
Creamed Spinach
Steakhouse side dish. Rich, garlicky, silky. Makes you forget you're eating a vegetable.
Bacon, Cheese and Mushroom Scramble
Everything in one pan. Five minutes. Breakfast of kings on a weekday.
Scrambled Eggs with Smoked Salmon
Soft, buttery scrambled eggs with smoked salmon. Posh breakfast, 3 minutes.
Bacon Cheeseburger — No Bun
Thick patty, proper cheese melt, bacon. Wrap it in lettuce or just eat it with …
Goats Cheese and Spinach Omelette
Three eggs, goats cheese, spinach. Ready in 5 minutes. The lunch of champions.
Sardines on... Not Toast
Tinned sardines on thick-sliced halloumi instead of toast. 80p lunch. Seriously.
Tuna Melt Stuffed Mushrooms
Giant portobello mushrooms stuffed with tuna mayo and melted cheese. Cheap, easy, proper filling.
Steak and Stilton Salad
Warm steak, cold peppery leaves, crumbled Stilton. Pub lunch energy, half the carbs.
Courgette and Halloumi Fritters
Crispy outside, squeaky halloumi inside. Perfect with a dollop of soured cream.
Chicken Caesar Salad — No Croutons
The croutons were never the good bit anyway. Crispy chicken skin, salty parmesan, punchy dressing.
Sea Bass with Lemon and Capers
Pan-fried sea bass in brown butter with capers. Fifteen minutes, looks like you trained in …
Duck Breast with Plum-less Sauce
Crispy duck without the pancakes. The red wine and berry reduction is the grown-up move.
Cod with Chorizo Crumb
Sounds cheffy. Takes 15 minutes. The chorizo crumb does everything.
Lamb Chops with Herb Butter
Two ingredients plus seasoning. Five minutes cooking. Restaurant quality.
Chinese Five Spice Pork Mince
Sweet, fragrant, savoury. Tastes like something from a proper Chinese restaurant.
Prawn Stir Fry with Pak Choi
Faster than a Deliveroo. Crunchy veg, juicy prawns, proper wok flavour.
Steak with Garlic Butter
The simplest recipe on this site. Buy a decent steak. Cook it properly. Top with …
Egg Fried Cauliflower Rice
The best cauliflower rice you'll make. The trick is getting the pan screaming hot.
Creamy Garlic Mushrooms on... Nothing
Usually a side, but sod it — eat a big bowl of these as dinner. …
Tuna Mayo Stuffed Peppers
Cheap, fast, zero cooking if you can't be arsed to roast the peppers. Desk lunch …
Smoked Mackerel Salad
No cooking required. Five minutes. High fat, high protein, virtually zero carbs.
Asian Pork Mince Lettuce Wraps
Fifteen minutes from fridge to mouth. Crunchy, savoury, and the lime lifts everything.
Beef Stroganoff
Proper stroganoff with soured cream and mushrooms. Rich, fast, and only 4g carbs.
Salmon with Lemon Butter and Asparagus
One tray. Twenty minutes. Looks like you made an effort. You didn't.
Pork Chops with Mustard Cream Sauce
French bistro food from your kitchen in 20 minutes. Sounds fancy, isn't.
Prawn and Chorizo with Peppers
Spanish-ish. Ready in 15 minutes. The chorizo oil is the sauce.
Sausage and Cabbage One-Pot
Five ingredients. One pot. Fifteen minutes. Embarrassingly easy and unreasonably good.
Halloumi, Bacon and Mushroom Fry-Up
The keto full English. All the satisfaction, none of the toast guilt.
Creamy Tuscan Chicken
Sun-dried tomatoes, spinach, garlic, cream. Restaurant food for about £1.80 a portion.
Salt and Pepper Pork Belly Bites
Better than the chippy. Crispy on the outside, melt-in-your-mouth inside. Zero carbs.
Thai Green Chicken Curry
Faster than the delivery driver and about 4g carbs per portion. Coconut milk does the …